Saturday, October 8, 2022

Reconnect to Disconnect (Collection of Poems)


Something brutal this way comes

Beyond the physical self,

This threat that is moving into the inner realm

Searching for us

Remember when we would dream?

All things were possible then,

They still are today, only lesser so

Dreams are fast, in seconds

Good outlasts bad,

Both can be just as infinite free

We can all learn a little something from someone;

And nothingness is nothing without knowing ourselves

    WE.

We should dream at any point in this time

Make it reality

Before it reverts back to cosmic dust,

It's the paint and materials unchosen,

Artist of life

Using the hidden medium 

That ethereal oil paint

They ARE there, sprinting to BE!

Those opposing forces to thought;

We are here. . .

In just a thought.





I Despise Sleep

How it meanders alongside you 

Melancholy twin of that eternal slumber.

Why must we suffer this impending doom

The thoughts of nothingness, 

Endings and beginning...

Again.

Sleep!

O' how I desire sleep.







Before there was light

There was an even bigger light.

Long before the human species,

There was an even greater, better being.

Humans spawned chaos, before it, complete order

Aligned just right;

Reason to the creation and death of a star.

Today's man is a threat to themself

Against our reality and of others,

Spreading itself in every direction

In every dimension of time when we began.

Before our beginning, it was their beginning.

And we learn happiness

And beyond that the eternal happiness.

Too much order causes one to gnaw their own foot off

We seek vengeance for our own doing

Unthinking, yet unified into crowds

Somehow connected to all things 

There in nothing is found something,

We are that something,

And the loop continues.





The potential is there in all of us

We can all stop and breathe and start over

What we desire is ours when we think it

Travel in a circle it'll never end the same

Stepping outside the bounds of society

We discover we can create 

Every level of being,

We are found.

.

To live is grand

Creation is powerful in a meaning

To ask why we're here is creation

It carries a blueprint to life

When on our journey we experience,

Our perception of the external world is born

We can see the future

This is a hands on dreaming

We are the sculptures living to sculpt.

.

There are times of feeling stuck

Or dust in the corner

Eventually we learn to move

Doors appear and windows open

Into the depths of life comes new pathways

With each colossal step we trek,

We leave behind a hint of ourselves

Our choices, suggestions, perspective.

.

Maybe we can help those doing this same thing

Leaving behind notes

Tips on how to overcome an obstacle,

Could this be that voice in our own head

Old messages from ourselves

Let's sit and listen to the song of the universe

As it plays and moves us into rhythm

Speaking to our hearts and soul

Building up from a foundation of self.

.

Nothing is easy to do

This world is impermanent

It wants to bring us along

It wants to show us what its experiencing 

Our bodies are too

We must experience suffering 

To witness freedom

See darkness and evils,

To experience peace and beauty.

We can dip our  tiny toes into that eternal torment

And bring back with us a vivacious new life.







Like a good drug,

    Time pulls us back right before the withdraws

    It infects us with so much hope,

    Our souls become dependent

    Our minds become a junkie for it

    All we desire is more of it.

    A train passing without a conductor

    The audience and the film.

    Life becomes an autonomous actor

    In all the between;

    But it needs a director, 

    We can be its producer as well,

    Time provides the backdrop

    We are audience in this theater,

    We are that limitless projector

    Witnessing a process of pure reality.

    Then time interrupts like some majesties usher,

    Editing all the parts wrong -

    Like strangers we meet,

    We can only direct those that are main actors,

    We can't be bothered by the extras.

    This crowded room,

    Needs to be written right    

    A cause to feel anxious

    Feeling the time speed or slow,

    Experiencing a flow in chaotic motion

    This builds strength within the meditator

    It allows for inner renovation

    Changing of the whole editing room

        And dance floor.









    It's strange,

    Strange

    Feeling empty.

    To be in the moment

    This instant;

    Is it always this heavy?

    Sitting anywhere feels everywhere

    The change of season

    Clear dusk sky

    East mountain smoking a cigar,

    The shy lights above,

    Carefully pushing through the dark.

    Ourselves feel like other selves

    These words feel like other words,

    None of it matches

    All of it perfect.

    Are we one yet?

    So this is what it's like

    Awaken!








    Love turns into

hate into love

like a processing a dream

turning coal to golden heaven

walk the path 

or let it drag you along.







    Something happened on earth,

And we were born

    A sudden awareness of the Gods;

It's happening again.

*

At a level

    Passing on the reigns 

Selling off these chains

    It's a happening man.

*

    Were the disguises too real

Or did we know who we were?

    This fall season will be great,

Like last Autumn, happening again.

*

Gentle is word

    With which should make things better

Sometimes the best thing for a flower to do is

. . .To wilt.







The big bad plague is over

Rejoice!

Everyone, stayed the same

Change is that nagging inevitability,

a tick on the neck of our whole being

It is careful not to disturb us 

carrying us to the next, 

Big 

Bad 

Plague.









   Chasing the Bag In


     I write like a bad hangover

It empties out in a spew of bile

words are sticky,

ideas like old foods;

Head upside down.

    Then it's over,

just a mess to clean up.

    I say, "This time is time."

My time,

this time, 

almost mine;

then the hangover, 

the regurgitation of the bad,

expired ideas.

    Yet, it truly feels

deep within I know,

no matter what weight is added

and how high I get. . .

    This is the time.   





Do these trees dream the same as we?

Forever in line 

And, unthinking. 

Heading to the end shared by many,

Many trees before us. 

Nothing new 

Flickering screens attempt a coup d'état,

As the leaves look away

Toward the hot Autumn wind,

Trading places with the mind of God.

We should've turn right instead of left -

Or left instead of right?

Just as the roots we lay

Drunken off the last rains,

Before this summer French kisses the fall.

-A creative yearns for these periods

Where are the heads are rolling?

Where the air is holy?

Where the bodies going?

When the crowd has spoken?

When the dirt and earth and space and stars

Makes a left instead of right.

Of what do they dream of?

Those old wizards!  






I haven't had good sex.

No state of bliss persists,

Angels getting bored,

This whole scene is trippy.


Like a bank heist,

Get in and get out.

I truly believe its not the money we're after,

The connection of our bodies

Attempting a transfer of spirit,

Wanting to get back into one.

Always failing, 

Losing the bout.

Luckily we have love,

That bystander in our relationship

When all else fails we can turn to it,

Let it drive for a while,

This long rode trip

This endless copulation of 

EVERYTHING.








As a kid I remember  

Launching homemade rockets

Clear skies,

Green grass,

The field where we played baseball

It was a launch pad then, 

Houston.

Fifteen feet away

Dad watched as I held the detonator

Commander of launch.

Red button pressed

A stream of fire,

Smoke tail,

A hiss of oxygen 

Zipping into a silence-

Still climbing upward.


A momentary glimpse into that infinite heavens,

Endless, eternal blue sky.

We watched as the rocket hit it's limit

Then, fluttered and wobble, its ascent ceases

And returns to Earth

Where all things must return.

In all these endings, 

Brings us to a beginning.

Then. . .

3...

2...

1...

Liftoff!








    Can my thoughts be held within these words?

One minute a passing image or an idea,

The next a change like a storm through a hay house

Like candlesticks these ideas burn 

Soon melted down to a nothing,

A lesser

Writing them down quickly is painful,

Like, alchemizing one thing for another,

Only to be left with false gold.

I try my best to cement the ideas into words

Only I know they will not be in my thoughts. 

My ideas are gone,

Liquefied and burnt to an ash

Gone into the winds like fluttering flakes of rice;

Will these thoughts reach the reader with clarity?

Of course not, these past words are symbols dead,

Different to many minds,

Always stirring up whatever thoughts

Random sparks of remembered programming 

In their own way.

    Always remember the possibilities,

Only then can one realize the truth to simple symbols.

They are not to be taken at face value,

Like some dying daisy drooping under a dark grey sky,

Or a chocolate wrapped in gold foil;

The world is a stage and these words

Young and Old,

Are fading from the call sheets. 

    Words are a tricky devil.

Whose honesty can never be trusted,

Read one way and it all falls apart.

Read another way the golden gate is opened.

Whenever I feel these words rattling in my skull,

Buzzing between my lips like the heavy beer fizz,

Forcing my hands, fingers, and all the inner workings

Into an exchange from the soul of my being

To the paper or screen or wall of some emptiness 

It will go on to find itself thrusted into anew…

Different

“Alchemical transformations.”








Strange queer holds booze that is 

Filled with something green and glowing,

Atomic radiating mucous that is gulped down like air

Treating the insides like a hidden warehouse rave

There is a hairy biker and their buddy,

Both taking turns to see how much skin they can gut out.

On the wall hangs a head of man,

A trophy of last years game

At the bar a group of recent aborted alien hybrids

Take turns puffing on a long opium hose,

Smoke hangs in the air like a red lava lamp.

The floors are covered inches with syrup,

The taste in the air is metallic,

The meth heads breath spilling out in deranged laughter.

Why would there be a monkey

On the shoulder of a woman,

Dressed like a man,

Speaking like some preacher

To anyone with a dime?

Why not?

This place is filled with groups of nobodies;

Yet 

they're 

all 

somebody.


A glass fish tank is glowing blue, 

Strobing to the rhythms of the doom noise jazz band;

The little people in the booth are mad on chemicals,

Their consumption is double that of any psychotic,

Any schizophrenic cop with a smile,

And any politician possessed with demons.

They dance upon each others unconscious bodies

Taking turns each passing,

Wailing out Psalms and dark incantations,

Obviously one side against the other

In a friendly game of Tom and Jerry

Tables and chairs seem to hover and move slowly,

Vibrating with the strong bass,

The player a skeleton wrapped with jaundice skin.

Cloned Egyptians wait on each guest

Giving out secrets to immortality.

A book is read out loud from a spotlit corner,

From the mouth of an eight hundred pound transexual,

Everyone pays a mind,

With crypto and wrist scans.

The book is silent;

Yet is the meaning silent?

How can anything end without such a party?

After we're long gone,

There will always be a celebration.

A chaotic tail behind us. . .

No meaning.








The new Layout feels alien. 

Back to the old Layout.

Change is the only constant;

That and chaos.

We are tumbling towards extermination

In a fashionable and stylish somersault.

Tomorrow is here.

It's here with yesterday and today.

All standing there like the three wise monkeys.

One can't see tomorrow;

Tomorrow can't tell anyone;

Third one is afraid to learn of what's to come.

This is a party that no one really wants to be at. 

Can art change anything bigger than the eyes?

Why do we need sleep,

If all we want is to live?

We have all the time 

And money

And the love in this world.

This new layout is just fine.








Would this be enough

To satisfy my creative flow,

Like honey to milk,

Lips to a glass.

Can the flow proceed

In it's natural direction

To unleash the creative juices

Like exotic fruit rinds 

A spritzer on a Martini.

An intake of enough information

Enough inspiration and junk,

To overload the psyche

To ramp up the processing speeds,

My brain, the quantum computer,

Calculating problems and how to solve them.

Are these words alone gonna solve anything?

Can our breath restart our hearts?

When does imagination,

All gathered images,

Thoughts and opinions-

When does it all become rock solid,

Constructed into reality?

At what amount of moments is good enough,

When can it be left alone,

Left peacefully to gather steam.

I am missing something,

Someone,

Some space.

Thought alone is never enough,

Images of long loss

Frozen still in the ether,

Like some preserved snowflake

Forever enshrined and unable to fall.

Life and all its sins,

Is pandoras box we've opened

We must always remind ourselves

To not take anything out of it

And bring it into reality.








    Their words are poetry

    Dancing through melodic gossiping

    Becoming anew with the blaze of infinity.

    Light, piercing our callous souls

    Brings with it a remedy

    They shine with hope

    Rejoice in the symphony 

    Talking rumors with impunity

    Bringing life to thinking,

    Beauty is in the mouth of the transmitter. 

    Stunning symmetry in all conversations

    A jubilee of talking,

    Language, symbols, encoded sounds

    A bacchanal of speech and listening.

    We all expel energy

    Of emotion,

    The magic that moves us,

    Guiding us to get things done. 

     






FEAR

Are these words all my own?

Or are they simply repurposed

recycled sounds of past remembering

Is there escaping this doubt

of losing oneself 

to all selves?








All I am left with is words

ringing symbols in my head

wriggling and anxious to be born.

*

Can there be peace among the rising,

awakened, and formed being

a crudely assembled vessel

Between order and chaos our changes bounce.

*

Whenever I look into your eyes

I see the familiarity 

the identical;

Whole truth to life

our shared paths full of pain and beauty.

*

Watching the crowds filling the streets,

groups of connected souls,

al together moving forward

through the violence and safety,

blooming forth through the cracks in the streets;

Evolution of mankind a spectacular occasion.








The no-mind.

None mind

No mind,

Observing the observer.

View the many instances

Of time

Of space,

all of the paths taken

and all the Infinite unknowns.

 








Night always arrives fast and never lasts.

It never wants to give a second,

moving in a lumbering pace,

corresponding equally with our heartbeat.

No amount of sleep or dancing,

no matter the strength we shake its hand,

Night slips like motor oil

across our conscious waking dream.

*

I prefer it to loiter around;

yet now like the day

it passes on without mindfulness,

without regard to the realty.

*

1920's 

Beachside view,

thin frosted windows

grey skies

blackened ocean

white edges.

There is music

and a fire,

and a fire.








           There is no separation of sane and madness.

            There is only degrees. 

            It's the Scoville scale

                To the spiciness of thought!

            Since existence,

            There has been a struggle

            To gain control of

                The spiciness of thought! 

            We dream it

            We do it.

            Create it and birth it;

            Then a master has captured it,

                Spiciness of thought!

            So be self master,

            learn to control it,

            balance it

            and manage it to your hearts content

                Spiciness thought.







            

               Death is trying to pull me down

               It constricts my lungs,

               My breath is low

               The bed attracts like a magnet.

               Ghosts of the other-side,

               Use old rope and weak binds

               I feel a trap to sleep whenever I lay down.

               Voice is weak, 

               It trembles when used,

               It hurts to speak

               Why must this continue 

               I struggle to keep up,

               Death keeps pulling me back.

               






Can we linger on this happiness

Stay a while and see our emptiness;

Can your friends stay?

Intense joy

Calming 

Languishing affect.

*

Tablespoons of shivering raindrops

The lucidity of it all

Pulls string theory into frame

-- Toward and onward

Ever shifting 

Outwardly and into

Everything and beyond

In rhythm and unitary with the lone 

Nothingness

 *

Happiness?

Happiness?

Stay longer this time

Wade just a moment,

Become and change us,

Our gloomy

Blue,

    Sadness.

        







In a position where the flower is poison

The fruits of the Eden is masked and rotten

Thought is twisted by nutrition,

Led to a death spiral

*

weightless silence begins to saturate us

Alone it gets tough to simply text it

over thoughts like split slit experiments 

showing us a tree of possibilities.

*

Energy gained is energy gone

like switches triggered from mirrors,

infinite flips from positive and negatives

A constant role-reversal in a never ending macro play.

*

Offers us a path or two or more

A window into a room,

a possible solution to a age old question

a way to look at something begging us to do something

*

How we are allowed to decide on which door to open,

which radio frequency we tune into

tremendous power that is thought,

a shock wave never ending and throughout this,

everything









 

    Dizzy, spinning like a broken metal fan

    jittering, skittish, cute while missing

    blue-washed eggshell walls,

    the ceiling keeps squeezing 

    a moldy orange peel

    the sound of crushing pressure,

    a tin can, an ocean canyon, 

    a darkness that can be felt,

    All things connected.










What's bad about 

absolute freedom,

is that it looks violent

chaotic

and totally unsure.

What's great about freedom

is that it is violent,

chaotic,

and assured.










    






    

    

    

    

    

  




  









 




















 


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